Introduction
As a parent, you’re probably well aware of the mental health issues that are rampant amongst kids nowadays, and how debilitating this can be. You’ve probably also realized the difficulty in responding appropriately. On one hand, you want your kids to feel seen and heard, and you cater to that need. On the other hand, you know they need to be able to deal with life, so a part of you wants to push them as well.
Before we dive into how to combat anxiety, let’s first discuss what anxiety is and why we’re dealing with this mental wellbeing crisis. To start off, I’ll share with you where I come from personally. I’ve dealt with anxiety all my life, and have thankfully never really had to face depression, which is why I will focus on the former.
— Willem
Who Am I
Ever since I was a kid, big emotions and intensity were a part of my daily life, and having ADHD, and sitting still listening to topics I wasn’t interested in, made my parents & teacher’s lives very difficult. Now that I’m an adult, I can definitely say that my parents could’ve done better in certain areas (like nutrition), but they were dealing with a completely new environment (phones, internet, and life generally speeding up). At the time, ADHD medication like Concerta and Ritalin made it possible for me to go to school, but it also completely disconnected me from my feelings and emotions, which caused great upheaval later in life. Videogames like Runescape and Pokemon also provided temporary relief, and me being ADHD, I was obsessed, which wasn’t healthy.
Enter Judo. I can honestly say that my parents enrolling me in Martial Arts (like Judo) completely changed my life. This is why I’m so passionate about our work at Eltham Martial Arts Academy - Musubi Dojo. It's the reason I’m writing this article and hopefully persuading fellow parents to take action, all the while accepting that raising kids in this environment is hard.
What is anxiety exactly?
Anxiety is actually very useful. It is what allowed us to survive in hostile environments. It is a trait that has been passed down for generations because it allowed us to stay out of harm's way.
Fundamentally, anxiety is a signal to the nervous system to upregulate, to get ready for action, and how we interpret this feeling (sweating, increased blood pressure & muscle tension) is where the crux lies. Understanding this physical response is key.
We now live in a world where kids are able to live very cushioned lives, with many opportunities to seek comfort instead of dealing with whatever issue they’re currently faced with. This, in and of itself, is great: we want our kids to be safe and looked after, but we also need to prepare them for life.
Why are mental health issues so rampant amongst kids nowadays
As mentioned before, we have many opportunities to find comfort through alcohol, food, smoking, and devices. The issue with this is that feeling good, realistically, should follow only after having taken action and resolved an issue. In this light, ‘bad’ feelings are very useful, in that they force us to deal with problems; only when these problems are resolved do we get to feel ‘good’.
However, if you focus too much on 'I’m feeling bad, and I don’t like it', you’re putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. What I would advise you ask your kids, as well as yourself, is: 'Why am I feeling this way, and what actions can I take to improve?' because feelings and emotions have a purpose; they’re not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in and of themselves. Learning emotional regulation is vital.
Beyond the many opportunities to find comfort, we are also exposed to so much information, with so little time to digest it, that it’s hard to be present and slow down. Add to this that most of us are in poor physical condition with poor posture - a recipe for disaster.
How Martial Arts Training Builds Resilience to Anxiety
Martial Arts teaches you that your emotions aren’t you, they’re feedback, and that you can choose to take action in the face of anxiety, which will help you realize that you’re not a slave to how you feel. This process builds resilience.
Throughout my five years at our Academy, I have seen too many strong emotions to count, when kids have their first class with us, experience a meltdown when they mess up a technique or have general fear before a Karate grading. And let me tell you, the sheer pride on the faces of these kids after they’ve dealt with the challenge is incredible – to me this is true bliss.
Great, so Martial Arts can help with strong emotions, which one should I choose?
All Martial Arts will help you deal with strong emotions and build confidence, but some are better suited for particular individuals and mental health challenges.
Before I dive into the specifics, I have to be clear that I have no experience in Karate, so whatever I’m about to share on this art form is from hearsay.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
BJJ is a very tactile Martial Art, in that it involves a lot of physical contact, which is great for kids that need touch to feel safe. What Jiu-Jitsu also teaches you is that tensing up might not be the best strategy; instead, it’s better to relax, slow your breathing, and start to problem-solve – I’m sure you can see how transferable these skills are to real life.
Aikido
Aikido involves throwing, weaponry, and locks. It also has no sparring and minimal fitness – ideal for teenagers (sadly no kids classes available yet) that need lots of structure and struggle with physical contact. This Martial Art also involves lots of eye contact, which at first can be difficult, but will help with social skills as well as with empathy.
Kyokushin Karate
Karate, like Aikido, involves lots of structure, which helps kids feel safe through routine. During this class, kids learn striking, kicking, and deflecting. Beyond technique, this class also involves ‘kiaiing’, referring to the act of shouting during a technique to exert power, energy, and confidence – once more, I’m sure you can see how this will help kids dealing with anxiety.
Muay Thai Kickboxing
Kickboxing is similar to Karate, but less structured and more energetic – fantastic to release pent-up energy for teenagers (once again, no kids class available yet) who’ve been sitting still too long. This class involves striking combinations, elbows, knees, and a great deal of conditioning and fitness training. This Martial Art will also alleviate mental health issues, but in this case primarily by giving you more energy and fitness.
On the topic of self-defence
If you live near Eltham, you’ve probably heard of the stabbing incidents as well as beatings. And being a parent, you want your kids to be safe, as mentioned before. Learning self-defence skills through the fighting arts will greatly help, but it's not the only benefit of learning how to fight.
If you can keep your emotions in check under pressure, look people in the eyes, show confidence, and have situational awareness, this too will greatly support your kid’s safety when out and about in Eltham or nearby areas.
So what’s next?
Now, you might be thinking that this article is geared towards getting us more students. The answer is no. I’ve come to realize that we as a species are interdependent. My role is to stimulate fitness and Martial Arts and provide a safe space for our community to work on themselves—a space where people feel seen and heard—because to me, this is the best way to move forward as a community.
So, please find yourself a gym, dojo, or academy that fits you and your children’s needs and experience how incredible this type of training can be.
Additional resources
- The importance of functional fitness and Martial Arts for kids
- How to choose the right Martial Art - Eltham Martial Arts Academy - Musubi dojo
- The effects of martial arts participation on mental and psychosocial health outcomes: a randomised controlled trial of a secondary school-based mental health promotion program | BMC Psychology | Full Text
- How Martial Arts Can Improve Your Mental Health